Kink, Fetish, submissive, slave: what do these terms mean?

When you contact me, I usually send a clipboard message asking:

“Please tell me more about your interests?  Fetish?  Kink? BDSM?  Sensual exploration?”

 

What am I asking you? 

What is a Fetishist?  It is a person turned on by something that isn’t genitals, that is: Paraphilias.  Paraphilia is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals..  It could be feet or someone wearing pantyhose.  A Fetishist is not necessarily a submissive or bottom, they can be dominant, a Top. 

What is a Kinkster?   Short answer, some who wants to get weird.  lol.  This is a person who enjoys a wide variety of activities across the board, is flexible and doesn’t necessarily adhere to Top or bottom or Dom or submissive, this person doesn’t adhere to one mind set.  “Let’s play with anal toys and pee on each other.”

Please see my “Fetishes and Kinks” List in the Information Category.

Sensual exploration is the vanilla blue plate special, with sensory play or a perhaps a bit of restraint added.  Massage for skin arousal, perhaps brushing the skin, having a person smell the leather flogger than softly drawing it over the skin, using a blindfold and or ear plugs to heighten the touch sense.  Again, this is not play that necessarily adheres to a Top or bottom.

What is BDSM?  

B is for Bondage: The restriction of a person’s bodily movements for erotic reasons using fastenings of various types or textures.

D is for Dominant:  The one in charge, or the top who oversees and controls. The responsible One. A Dominant should be well versed in the areas of play to be explored, seek to be educated in those areas of a playlist not familiar with before engaging in play, be knowledgeable of health risks and dangers and take appropriate safety precautions.

S is for submissive or slave AND/OR Sadist.

What is a submissive?  One who gives freely of themselves for the pleasures of another. A subordinate with negotiated limits. A bottom, someone who follows and there are pre-agreed boundaries.

What is a slave?  A totally subordinate person who needs or wants total direction in all aspects of their life. To be owned, to serve, without question, and who questions nothing they are told.  A slave will do things to please their Domme or Dom even if they don’t enjoy said activities, without negotiated limits taking undesired activities off the menu.  Activities are within Safe, Sane, Consensual parameters.  They are trusting their Owner to be Responsible regarding their ownership and have signed off any further negotiations.

What is a Sadist?  A person who derives pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others.

M is for Masochist:  a person who derives sexual gratification from their own pain or humiliation and/or enjoys an activity that appears to be painful or tedious.

 

A person who enjoys BDSM activities does not necessarily enjoy everything.  It is more like going to a buffet and picking the offers you like.  You may like extreme bondage only or bondage with S&M play.

 

When we have an appointment, arrange to spend some time together, it is always more productive to have a plan as to what we will be doing, so I am prepared and you are satisfied.