Describe yourself:

Age 47

submissive/slave – owned slave

24/7 / weekend, etc. time frame: 24/7

Geographic area: southwest

Q: What drew you to bdsm?

A: I wasn’t drawn to bdsm.

Q: What drew you to bdsm?

A: I wasn’t drawn to bdsm. I read my Dad’s collection of Sm literature when I was about ten and that’s probably the beginning. When I became sexually active I was adventurous and willing. When I met Master at 25 I was very skilled at unconventional vanilla sex. He brought me bondage, control and role play. We moved into pain together. Ten years later we got on the web and found others like ourselves. Two years after that we joined the local dungeon.

Q: Do you feel you were born to serve and please a Master? If not, why do you serve and please a Master?

A: I was not born to serve and please a Master and I am not sure that I DO serve and please a Master. I obey. I submit. I do those things because I enjoy them. If he feels served and pleased, bully for him, but that’s his business.

Q: How did you know you needed the pain?

A: I was always a size queen. I remember talking with my girlfriends about sex and commenting on how much it hurt. They were surprised, it doesn’t hurt, it feels good! Not for me it doesn’t. I like really big dicks that hurt me. AND I have always associated orgasm with pain. Chocolate syrup and coffee icecream in my mouth is pleasure. Having an orgasm is painful. Delicious pain, but pain nonetheless. Before we found whips and chains, getting me off first often made me very horny for intercourse. The pain of orgasm warmed me up for the pain of intercourse. Now I adventure into all kinds of pain and have realized that when I am in pain I am vulnerable, when I am vulnerable I can be penetrated, not just by a cock, but by someone’s mind, their soul, their desires.

Q: Did knowing how to please Master come naturally to you or were you taught or was it something you figured out?

A: I hate this please thing. I don’t try to please. Did knowing how to obey come naturally to me? No, I had to learn to drop MY ideas about how things should be done and simply do as I was told. That required formal training for me.

Q: Are there times when you are required to do an > act and you have the > thought “i can’t”? If so, what do you do?

A: Do it anyway, employ my will to bend my will to his.

Q: Are you a slave or submissive? If you are a slave, is it 24/7? Was it always this way? (Were you a submissive first for a length of time or did you just accept the choice of slave from the start)

A: I am a slave and yes it is 24/7. No it was not always this way. I have always done what I was told but not without exacting a price from him and always reserving the right to punish him if his decisions turned out poorly (and by punish I don’t mean spank, I mean berate, belittle, wail and gnash my teeth). When we found D/s on the web with all its talk of nurturing and teaching and the dominant being responsible for everything the slave does, thinks and feels I set out to institute that type of relationship. We tried it for five years. I became a stark raving bitch who blamed him for everything, including my own bad moods and it was the worst experience of topping from the bottom I ever saw. Then I found a slave who trained me to obey and to take complete responsibility for myself, for getting my needs for dominance and sadism met and for controlling not only how I behave but how I feel. Slavery works for me. D/s does not.

Q:What is the difference between a slave 24/7 and a submissive to you?

A: A D/s relationship appears to be all about teaching, guiding and nurturing the submissive. It is sub-centric. An Ms relationship makes the top type person the center. Slaves take on tremendous responsibility in an Ms relationship. In a D/s relationship all the responsibility appears to be cast onto the shoulders of the dominant person.

Q: Are you one of many slaves? Are you the head of the house slave? and how do you feel about situation? Are you poly also? or does this just not concern or bother you?

A: At the moment there are no other slaves. There have been brief periods of others joining our household. Because our relationship is so long standing it is difficult for them to accept such an inferior status so they leave. I am not poly by nature but Master is not monogamous so he is free to do whatever he pleases from a zipless fuck to taking on a full time romantic relationship with another slave.

Q: Define a fuck toy slave and what is the difference between her and you.

A: I have no idea what a fuck toy is.

Q: Does your total passion for pleasing Master get you past any concerns about other women?

A: I have no passion for pleasing Master. I personally think that is a very sick and deranged motivation for me. His pleasure is none of my business. He is free to do whatever he wants with other women because I have no desire to control him. What I found in the past with his exploits with other women was that I felt publicly humiliated because it looked to me like others would think I didn’t have my guy under control. Well guess what? In THIS culture? Not having your guy under control is a status symbol. Once the public humiliation factor was exorcised I found I had no trouble at all with the idea that he was free to do as he pleased.

Q: Was your health record checked first? Do you have any concerns about health or do you just leave it to Master to worry about?

A: We were 25 and 29, we had no health record. If we’re sick we go to a doctor.

Q: favorite task?

A: drinking coffee at Starbucks and reading a book.

Q:hardest task/demand you did?

A: Overcoming the public humiliation factor that he slept around, see above.

Q: do you work and have a life or are you 100% taken care of and told what to do all day?

A: neither. I have not had a job since 1987 but he has so he hasn’t been available to tell me what to do all day. And what a denigrating way to word that question. I am offended. I am not 100% taken care of, I spend my days taking care of him and the three children.

Q: Describe an average day:

A: I get up when his alarm goes off and make coffee. I check to hear if the shower is running, if it’s not I open the door and say, should you be getting up? I check my mail, pour his coffee, make him a protein drink and kiss him goodbye. He often asks about my plans for the day and inserts a directive of some kind. I get the kids off to school and then lounge around in my jammies reading the boards and surfing the web for a while. Then I straighten up the house and go for a bike ride or a hike. The bike ride often takes me to Starbucks where I drink coffee and read a book. When I return home I may be involved in a project (closets, paint a room, plant a garden etc) or watch a movie or chat or nap or read or write or paint a canvas or talk on the phone. The kids come in from school and I monitor their chores, ask about their days and start dinner. Master comes in and I offer him a drink. We will sit in any number of places around the property, outside by the pool, on the swing in the garden, on the back porch, at the dining room table, the living room, the computers or even me on the floor in the bathroom while he takes a dump if that is what is on his agenda. I then finish dinner. We eat as a family and we laugh a LOT over dinner. One of the kids will do the dishes and Master and I either sit at our computers, watch television, read books or go to the garage and tinker with motorcycles. Sometimes we go out to see friends, go to a Monday night workshop at our local dungeon or simply go for a motorcycle ride. When we go to bed we either read or engage in a sexual activity. Sometimes both.

Q: Do you have interests and hobbies or is your day spent pleasing Master?

A: GRRRRRRRRR, stop with the pleasing already. Yes I have interests and hobbies. I paint, write, garden and cook. I like those things.

Q:Did you get sent to school to learn how to do a manicure/massage or any other pleasure skills?

A: No

Q: Do you and/or are you allowed to go clubbing/nightlife, out on your own, girls night out, etc.? A: No

Q: Think of a scene you grew from experiencing. Describe that session, please?

A: I left him after we’d been together fifteen years. I was trained by a slave during that time and then returned to Master and petitioned him for a collar of consideration. He provided that. Six months later the Master from the household in which I was trained came to Phoenix from Atlanta and the three of us went to the dungeon. I had worn my training collar in conjunction with my collar of consideration for all that time. On our arrival at the dungeon the Master of the slave who had trained me shaved my head, whipped me, cut off my training collar with a knife and presented me to Master fully denuded and ready for his control. Master placed a collar of ownership around my neck and that was that. It was a powerful scene. What I learned was that leather is not a fantasy, collar progressions are not for on line wannabes and that sometimes it takes extreme measures to get one’s slave head on right.

Q:Is getting permanent body jewelry an idea you entertain? or is it something your Master wishes? is that something you would do if He told you to or do you both need to want it?

A: I have piercings and Master has recently acquired a tattoo gun and intends to tattoo my entire body with tribal markings and a vine of barbed wire. I am looking forward to it immensely and the work already done is very exciting. The tattoing is painful and erotic and very edgy. We love it.

Q: i have never had a tattoo or piercing because i have felt my body belongs to Master. None of my Masters have desired it or done it. Your thoughts?

A: Sorry, see above.

Q: i’ve noticed that in posts and e-mails submissive’s capitalize “Master”. your thoughts?

A: I captialize Master because that’s his name.

Q: and your favorite toy is (only one)?

A: Single tail

Q: favorite toy set up while masturbating?

A: I don’t masturbate often, if I do, I use my index finger.

Q: what if your Master did not find you attractive or did not want you sexually. Would you be happy serving him as he wished, serving his sadistic needs only?

A: Hard one. I don’t really know. It would bother me but I have adjusted to other difficult things so I could probably adjust to that.

Q: once one just gives up the mental garbage and simply obeys, it all gets much easier. your thoughts?

A: Very true words.

Q: Eating a diet is premium. (after all – what is > coming out of one end is from what you put in the other.) what vitamins do you take?

A: I take a multi vitamin and a calcium supplement.

“Sorry about the grrrr-ing about the desire to please. I find that whole concept nauseating.”

“No Worries. The point of the Interviews is to show the differences in slaves/submissives.”

“Good luck to you with your site! I am honored you asked me to participate.”