Handle (name): submissive Ophelia
Age: 20 something!
24/7 / weekend, etc., time frame:
Geographic area. NYC
Q: What drew you to bdsm?
A: I always had fantasies about submission. Ever since I can remember, I thought about men overpowering me, tying me up, and spanking me. When I became an adult, I actively pursued meeting others in the BDSM scene. I guess you could say that my own BDSM tendencies is what drew me to BDSM.
Q: You are a professional submissive. Do you play with friends or have a Master you are collared by?
A: I have a Master who is also my husband. Sometimes, He will allow me to play with others, especially other Mistresses. I am a very lucky girl!
Q: What was the determining factor in being a pro-sub? How did your life’s journey take you there?
A: I am a country girl, and a country-girl at heart. I always will hold a place in my heart for the small town. However, An opportunity came by to live in NYC. I jumped on that idea since the BDSM scene was better in NYC than upstate. There were more people to choose from and chances are, somebody would share the same interests as you! I would have worked as a bus driver in NYC if it paid a little better, but, fact is it did not. I decided to do something that came naturally to me and was a natural part of me. That was submission.
Q: Do you feel you were born to serve and please a Master? If not, why do you serve and please a Master?
A: I do not feel that I was born to serve and please a Master. I regard myself too highly to believe that my life is for pleasing others. Although I may have slave or even submissive tendencies, they are more per scene than the whole life itself. I tend to be very independent and strong willed. I feel that I CAN CHOOSE to serve my Master and that is what freedom is. Freedom of choice is what enables me to choose to serve in scene.
Q: How did you know you needed the pain?
A: I can remember so many times hurting myself and it not being a big deal. I realized at an early age that pain can feel good. After receiving my first paddling back in 1999, I had a huge endorphin rush. It was then that I realized that I would need BDSM for the rest of my life, especially the pain.
Q: Are there other qualities, such as fear and being naughty that you need as well?
A: I definitely need being naughty in scene. My favorite scene is the classic British school scene. I could not report for punishment unless I was a very naughty girl,could I?
Q: Did knowing how to please Master come naturally to you or were you taught or was it something you figured out?
A: Pleasing a Dom/me came naturally to me. It is a part of me. I was able to grasp onto it very quickly when I met my first Dom.
Q: Do you prepare yourself for sessions, mentally and/or physically? What do you do to prepare for a heavy play session?
A: This is a long response, but I think folks are going to benefit from it. Here goes:
-I engage in meditation, deep-breathing, relaxation (catch my drift) .I Do this multiple times over multiple days.
-I do not play with anybody else unless it is a cutesy and light scene
This ensures that my behind is durable, but yet playing lightly can keep me “on my toes” for the big one next week.
-I believe in being in an excellent headspace. (No drama, issues, or anything stressing at that moment. Having things in order. This matters. For example, not having a feud going on between a family member or so)
-Knowing what is coming is of utmost importance. Coping skills. (Knowing that it will be difficult, and being able to deal with it)
-Looking forward to the scene and the pain. (Embrace and welcome it.)
-Telling oneself that they will excel and will do wonderfully. (This goes very far. I have been able to take 200 absolutely severe blows better and with less screaming than if I were not in the mood to take it, and doubting myself)
-Day of scene pampering myself beforehand. (Taking a wonderful bath in the morning, smelling and looking good) This also works wonders mentally.
-Planning a reward for myself ON THE SAME OR NEXT DAY, prior to the big scene. (I reward myself ASAP to reinforce the fact that I earned it, and had fun with it so now I get something GREAT)
Reward can be anything from an elegant expensive dinner to a new DVD video camera.
-First aid during and after the scene. Taking care of oneself. Recuperation. (This is important, too. First aid is followed all throughout the scene and aftercare is provided by my S.O. Cuts are dressed and maintained. Healing Aquaphor is put onto the area for days afterward. Immediately upon returning home a tepid bath is drawn to soak and come down. Relaxing music. Behind is massaged daily.)
Q: Are there times when you are required to do an act and you have the thought “i can’t”? If so, what do you do?
A: There are definitely times when I have had the “I can’ts”. When I had my labia sutured, I thought for certain that I would not be able to endure it. I thought that I would have to end the scene or not do it in the first place. I learned that worrying oneself into a tizzy does no good prior to a scene. It is our fear that can prevent us from trying something new, enjoying it, and being able to carry out with it. I had one of the best times of my life in the medical suturing scene and will always remember it.
Q: Do you crave or like or dislike being restrained and bound in bondage?
A: I love bondage! Sometimes I wish I were a tiny body and could do all of those twisty-positions with bondage. I love feeling safe and secure in bondage. I like real bondage, bondage that is inescapable. Very few people can put me in real bondage. I am a challenge. Anyone up for it?
Q: Would you please share your most memorable experience in bondage and why you consider it “most memorable”?
A: I would have to say my most memorable experience in bondage would be the very first time that I was in bondage. It was a kidnapping scene with my first Dom. He tied me up where I could not escape. I was in a comfortable position. I find that being comfortable in bondage makes the best experience. I will never forget how I felt that very first time. I felt cared for and scared at the same time.
Q: Are you a slave or submissive? If you are a slave, is it 24/7? Was it always this way? (Were you a submissive first for a length of time or did you just accept the choice of slave from the start)
A I have been a slave and submissive in my life. Presently I am a submissive with my Master. There are some times where I am his slave such as birthdays and other holidays. Lately Sundays have been our special nights where I am more than just a submissive. I guess one could say that I am in a full time BDSM relationship. It might not be full-on Master slave 24/7, but it is constantly in some form of D/s B&D.
Q: What is the difference between a slave 24/7 and a submissive to you?
A: A submissive has more control than a slave. A slave gives up more to her Master. A submissive also is more of a “per session” player than a slave.
Q: Are you one of many slaves? Are you the head of the house slave? And how do you feel about situation? Are you poly also? Or does this just not concern or bother you?
A: This question is not applicable to me because I am not one of many slaves…but I will say that although we play with others together, we do not consider ourselves poly.
Q: Define a fuck toy slave and what the difference between her and you is.
A: A fuck toy slave is somebody who exists for their Dom or Master’s sexual pleasure. I do not engage in that type of activity in my professional services, although I have played a fuck toy slave to my fiancée.
Q: Does your total passion for pleasing Master get you past any concerns about other women?
A: Concerns with other women? I do not have any concerns with other women. I am not the jealous type!
Q: Was your health record checked first? Do you have any concerns about health or do you just leave it to Master to worry about?
A: My health record is checked yearly. I always maintain my health.
Q: favorite task?
A I would have to say my favorite task is taking punishment.
Q: hardest task/demand you did?
A: Hardest? I think my vaginal suturing was one of the most challenging activities I participated in.
Q: do you work and have a life or are you 100% taken care of and told what to do all day?
A: I work and have a life…he he
Q: Describe an average day:
A: Average day? I work on the computer, answer phone calls, take sessions, play with my fiancée, do some chores, make dinner…the usual stuff!
Q: Do you have interests and hobbies and/or a job or is your day
spent pleasing Master?
A: I have many interests and hobbies. I am a total geek. I love video games, RPG’s, shopping, TV, and I love learning new things.
Q: Did you get sent to school to learn how to do a manicure/massage or any other pleasure skills?
A: No, I was not sent to school.
Q: Do you and/or are you allowed to go clubbing/nightlife, out on your own, girl’s night out, etc.?
A: I love my girl’s nights out! I am not into clubbing, however.
Q: Think of a scene you grew from experiencing.
Describe that session, please?
A: My vaginal suturing. I was so worried about it, and questioned myself on whether or not I could do it and I surprised myself. It was a lot easier than I originally thought. I had an excellent time and grew so much from it.
Q: Is getting permanent body jewelry an idea you entertain? Or is it something your Master wishes? Is that something you would do if He told you to or do you both need to want it?
A: I have permanent body jewelry. I have two 8 gauge rings in my outer vaginal lips. I also have a lock for them. I have had them for quite some time now and it works well in our relationship.
Q: i have never had a tattoo or piercing because I have felt my body belongs to Master. None of my Masters have desired it or done it. Your thoughts?
A: When it does happen you will love it. It will make you feel special and wanted.
Q: i’ve noticed that in posts and e-mails submissive’s capitalize “Master”. your thoughts?
A: The entire capitalization thing can get carried away. If you think you can tell whether a person is genuine or not based on it, you need to get off the computer and get into the real life scene!
Q: and your favorite toy is (only one)?
A: the cane!
Q: favorite toy set up while masturbating?
A: I love my Hitachi Magic Wand! Every woman should have one!
Q: What if your Master did not find you attractive or did not want you sexually. Would you be happy serving him as he wished, serving his sadistic needs only?
A I do not have that problem in my relationship, nor will I ever…so I guess I am quite lucky. I cannot imagine that scenario.
Q: once one just gives up the mental garbage and simply obeys, it all gets much easier. Your thoughts?
A: I think it gets easier the more you feel comfortable with your Dom. Then you can obey and things just run smoothly.
Q: Eating a diet is premium. What is yours? What vitamins do you take?
A: I currently am on Weight Watchers. I take a multivitamin daily.
Q: What are the qualities regarding yourself that you feel are the most important?
A: I think the fact that I can take an exorbitant amount of pain is important. Sadists are attracted to me.
Q: May readers contact you for service? And how would they do that?
Readers may definitely contact me. I can be reached at Ophelia@submissiveophelia.com . Thanks so much for interviewing me!