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Rough Sex and Kinky Sex Ideas

May be your thing, and it may not.  You might like some things on the menu and find others “meh.”  That’s fine.  It is about exploring and discovering what turns you on, what works for you.



is key and important in having your partner on this adventure with you being able to bring you more pleasure.  If it isn’t working for you, say so. 

  • “not working, let’s try…”

If you find an idea boring or just don’t enjoy it, say so. 

If you like it, words like:

  • “Just like that, just like that”
  • “Yes” “Yeah” “Yes baby”
  • “Mmmmmmmmm” “Ooooooooooo”
  • “I’m going to cum” “You’re going to make me cum”

are great “YES!” signals.



are a great starting point.  With the eyes closed you smell and feel more.

Run an ice cube over his nipples, penis, balls, and lips.

Lick that cock!  From the base to the tip, all the way around, then focus on the tip, using the least amount of pressure possible.  Change it up and go to the balls, little licks all around, then gently swallow.  I like to hum while I swallow and lick, remember that everyone is different and while some may like their balls pulled on, some don’t.  Going back to the cock, swallow and roll your tongue around his shaft (like outlining a circle).  Wetter is better, so if you find yourself spitting up saliva, don’t swallow – spit it on his penis.  I think the most important aspect is to have fun and enjoy his cock.  Give your mouth a break with your hands and fingers if you want to.


Ties make great bondage restraints.  If your bed doesn’t have posts, put rope in between the mattress and the box spring, then tie the rope to the tie.  I like scarves or ties because they are thicker and softer than rope, but whatever your taste regarding roughness is what counts.  Not too tight to cut off circulation and turn a hand purple, not to loose.

The opposite technique is to wrap his wrists with toilet paper (just enough to catch and stay) and tell him he only received pleasure while the paper is intact, if he rips it, the pleasure is over.


Some find it hot, and arousing, some don’t.  Soft taps to a solid slap, how you spank makes a difference.  Slap and stay your hand, slap and drag your hand, slap and drag your hand using your nails lightly.  It is all sensations, some your partner will like more than others, find out their favorites.

Punishment and Reward

She cums first or he gets a spanking,

Ten minutes of in and out, different positions, if he cums too soon, he has to bring her to orgasm before you are done or he gets chores and a fix it list.

Make your own list of what you think are punishments and what you consider rewards.

Passionate Kissing

Taking your hands over your partners body or holding close or holding their cheeks while passionately kissing, and not just tongue action, use those lips soft lips.

The Rough UP

Nails over body

Use your body to pin down arms and legs.

When you want to change position, take control and try to move your partner’s body into the new position with some force, so they can feel your strength.

Take hold of your partners hair at the nap of the back of the head and hold firm.  Take their mouth over your body where you want it to go.

Regarding Hair Pulling: 

Hair pulling can be pleasurable, kinky and erotic or plain painful depending on how you do it. 


  1. The pleasurable part of everyone’s scalp is the very back. I’m talking about the opposite side of your head to your face.
  2. Start with your four fingers on the back of their neck, below the hairline. Then slowly push them upwards.
  3. When you have gone about  an inch above the hairline and extended your fingers,  grab their hair with some gentle force. Now, you’re not trying to pull it out of the scalp, but, equally, you shouldn’t be so gentle that they can’t feel it either.
  4. Start slowly pulling downwards, allowing their hair to gradually slip out of your grip as you do it.  After a few times of this, grap on firmer and direct the head.

Public Play

I love restaurants with long tablecloths, and an egg with a remote in my partners hands that looks like any cell phone, remote type thing.

Role Playing

  • Secretary/Boss fantasies
  • Action Hero fantasies
  • Getting blackmailed.
  • Strangers at a bar
  • Being “forced” into having sex.
  • Repaying a debt with sexual favors.
  • Being a sex slave at a resort
  • Being a masseuse that does whatever gets the job finished.
  • Having your innocence corrupted by someone more experienced…or being the corrupter yourself.
  • You have placed an ad on craigslist for “?” and this person answered
  • Being a bored housewife or househusband.
  • One of you is in an authority position like a fireman, cop, doctor, the UPS guy, crooked lawyer, professor, coach, slave owner, etc.
  • One of you is in a submissive position like being a criminal, student, intern, slave, etc.


‘Tis the Season for Candy Canes