Describe yourself.
Handle (name): shecravesthepain also known by my slave name which is fyre. On Masters website i am known as slave fyre. www.brutalmaster.com
Age: 38
submissive/slave: a slave.
24/7 / weekend, etc., time frame:
i am always a slave, 24/7. But i am not in a live-in relationship. i am able to see Master about every 5 weeks or so depending on our schedules and i usually stay there about 4 days on average. Occasionally He comes to visit me as well.
Geographic area.
i live in Houston, Texas. And Master lives in Maine.
Q: What drew you to bdsm?
A: It has always been a part of me and my lifestyle even before i knew what the term BDSM meant. i experimented with things most of us do in childhood, except i took it further than most. i always wanted the innocent role-playing games to go a bit further than the norm…jumped off cliffs for the rush, enjoyed power exchanged.. being tied up tighter during cowboys and indians, i wanted to actually be slapped around and hit during the cops and robbers scenes (i liked to play with the rougher boys, never was into playing with dolls and tea parties…except for with that one girl who liked to make out with me *weg*) And things continued to grow from there rather quickly. i experimented with beastility, not penetration yet and breath play before i was 13. i was never molested or abused and was not sexually active until the age of 17.
Q: Do you feel you were born to serve and please a Master? If not, why do you serve and please a Master?
A: yes, i do believe i was born this way, i was not trained to be a submissive or a slave or a masochist, i just am what i am.
Q: How did you know you needed the pain?
A: i think i realized early on that i *needed* it when i was not getting off on sexual intercourse alone anymore (although i do love sex, and am probably a sexual addict but if there is no S&M involved at all it eventually gets old really fast) i also realized i *needed* it when i realized that i craved pain…craved it like a heroin addict and i had to get my fix….or as a sadist once referred to the craving…like a vampire who hasn’t fed in a long time. *weg*
Q: How does Master know your limits in regards to pain?
A: i think Master is still trying to find what my limit is in regards to pain, lol. But seriously, i think it comes with knowledge and experience. He knows how to read me very well. We don’t use safe words, i don’t need them…i trust my Master completely.
Q: Did you explore and expand your limits in regards to pain with Master? If so, How was this done?
A:. The first weekend i met Master He nailed my tits to the table, beat me until my whole body was black and blue, electrocuted and burned me until i was a crispy critter . It was intense from day one with Master and has been an ongoing process of exploring and expanding my limits.
Q: There are different types of pain. Example: The pain of quick, instant being gashed with many metal thongs and bleeding, another is suction pain, another is beating with a think cane, another is having nails driven through your breasts into a 2 x 4. Sometimes one craves one and can not tolerate another. Which types of pain do you crave?
A: i just crave pain period. Sometimes one type of pain is more intense one day and not the other. i don’t know why that is, but that’s just the way i am. For me it varies, right now i am really loving cutting, burning and heavy intense thuddy beatings type pain more than sharp stinging pain. But that might change tomorrow. Anyway it doesn’t matter because i am not given a choice by Master, and i like it that way.
Q: How did Master and you explore which types you enjoyed and which types you find difficult?
A: LOL He does what pleases Him, whether i like it or not is irrelevant. Master is very creative and i never know what He is going to do next. He never discusses beforehand with me what He is going to do to me. The not knowing makes me nervous, but excited and the anticipation is great.
i guess i would have to say that the most difficult session i have had so far would be one of the more recent ones. It included bastinado. Master beat the bottoms of my feet while i was upside down, with a cane. i have done things that were more painful but for some reason this was difficult for me, either i have very sensitive feet which i really had not realized or it was because i was having pms at the time which sometimes makes me hypersensitive, i dunno. Either way, i did not handle it very well, i kicked (as much as i could considering i was in tight restraints) screamed, cursed and cried. Which for me is not the norm. i usually suffer in silence. It was different, i enjoyed it though… it was a great release.
Q: Do you enjoy pleasure? What areas of your body are most sensitive to
pleasure?
A: yes of course i do. my clitoris of course. i also have very hypersensitive nipples. Oh and of course my lips.…the ones on my face, but the others too.. my inner thighs! Oh hell my whole body is sensitive to pleasure!
Q: Do you enjoy being masturbated by Master and masturbating for him?
A: yes and yessssss!
Q: Are there other qualities, such as fear and being naughty that you need as well?
A: fear, hell yes!! Fear makes me hot. Make me fear you and i will fall head over hells in love with you.
Naughty, well that’s a given imp always naughty.
Q: Did knowing how to please Master come naturally to you or were you taught or was it something you figured out?
A: It comes naturally.
Q: Are there times when you are required to do an act and you have the thought “i can’t”? If so, what do you do?
A: hmmm, there have been times when i’ve thought WTF, like the first weekend i met Master and He brought out a hammer and nailed my tits to the table. But i have never thought “i can’t” do that. i don’t know when to stop; too much is never enough…so i trust Master to know when.
Q: Do you crave or like or dislike being restrained and bound in bondage?
A: i crave it, and enjoy it.
Q: Would you please share your most memorable experience in bondage and why you consider it “most memorable”?
A: hmmm, well Master doesn’t do bondage on me all of the time, yes He always restrains me in one way or another …..not always the more intricate type of bondage. But the most memorable thus far was the scene with the large metal ring that hung from the rafters. He had me sit inside, arms and ankles tied to the rings with rope, bamboo across my back and chest and more bamboo squeezing my tits into pancakes like i was having a mammogram, bamboo across and into my mouth, like a bit. i know it doesn’t sound like much but trust me; it’s very uncomfortable and extremely intense. i was sweating like a pig (do pigs sweat? well i was dripping anyhow, in more ways than one) And if that
wasn’t enough He also beat me with a large bamboo or rattan cane as i swung around. weeeee! That was my most memorable bondage experience. Why? Because it was very intense, just due to the bondage itself.
Q: Are you a slave or submissive? If you are a slave, is it 24/7? Was it always this way? (Were you a submissive first for a length of time or did you just accept the choice of slave from the start)
A: i considered myself to be a slave-wired submissive, or as some say have a slave heart, before i met Master. i did not consider myself to be a slave until i was collared by Master. my mindset is of a 24/7 slave mentality. It is always in the back of my mind. i constantly am thinking of S&M, or BDSM in general and of my Master. But i am not in a 24/7 relationship.
Q:What is the difference between a slave 24/7 and a submissive to you?
A: a submissive is someone who submits and enjoys the exchange of power.
a slave is someone who is owned by a Master and has no limits.
Q: Are you one of many slaves? Are you the head of the house slave? and how do you feel about situation? Are you poly also? or does this just not concern or bother you?
A: yes, Master has other slaves. 3 collared slaves….one is a live in, and two long distance. And there are quite a few others that come to Master for sessions/training. i am fine with this, i am poly. It does not bother me, i would actually enjoy being more of a part of the household or at least live closer to Master.
Q: Define a fuck toy slave and what is the difference between her and you?
A: a fuck toy, i would think that is someone who is strictly there to sexually please Master and whomever He wishes, and nothing more.
i can do that *weg* But i need more than just that.
Q: Does your total passion for pleasing Master get you past any concerns about other women?
A: yes. There is no room for jealously in this type of relationship. i don’t get jealous about Master being with other women, i only wish i could be more involved *weg*
Q: Was your health record checked first? Do you have any concerns about health or do you just leave it to Master to worry about?
A: Master did not require it of me. Although i had checked it not long before i met Master when another Dom had asked me for it.
Q: favorite task?
A: suffering for Master.
Q: do you work and have a life or are you 100% taken care of and told what to do all day?
A: i work full time, plus overtime.
Q: Describe an average day:
A: an average day when i am with Master….
He picks me up at the airport, i’m instructed how to dress…always slutty *smiles* and when at His home i am immediately instructed to disrobe. i stay that way during the length of my visit most times with the exception of my collar and hi heel shoes. We go into the dungeon and the torture begins, each session is a few hours long. With breaks in between. During breaks i’m allowed to relax. But although i have never been instructed to do so, i believe in and try to follow protocol, i guess a mix of old guard and new. i never sit on Masters furniture always on the floor, even in my own home when Master is around, i never eat until given permission, or at least not until after He has started. i ask permission to go to the bathroom, i try to never turn my back to Master, don’t cross my legs, use slave positions when appropriate, etc etc……other than that, during breaks it’s pretty relaxed. Masters live in slave is extremely nice and she makes sure i am fed, because once Master and i get into an intense scene neither one of us thinks about nutrition and would probably continue until we both passed out. LOL. Anyway, so we session off and on all day and night, intensely and then i am put to bed…..which consists of a pallet on the floor in the dungeon. Master chains me up, with a metal cuff to my ankle and a large chain to the wall . And i am left exhausted and alone to sleep. (my toilet is a metal bucket) On rare occasions Master has allowed me to sleep chained on the floor at the foot of His bed…i cherish those rare occasions. Then in the morning sometimes His live in slave comes in and unlocks me and brings me food and coffee (isn’t she sweet) or Master comes up and unlocks me and allows me to come into the house. Then after breakfast and a shower…back to the dungeon and it starts all over again*weg*
But its not always all intense all of the time, sometimes there is time for relaxing and hanging out at the pool getting our tans on, going out to a strip club. And when Master visits me we go to play parties and out to clubs etc.
Q: Do you have interests and hobbies and/or a job or is your day spent pleasing Master?
A: yes, i have friends, interests, a career and hobbies outside of our relationship. Although i share things with Master and any important decision is first discussed with Master. i always trust His opinion. i try not to bother Master with the little things. He does not micromanage my life, being that we live across the country from each other that makes it next to impossible. And even if He wanted to His hectic schedule would not allow it.
i would love to spend all of my time pleasing Master, but that is not very realistic.
Q: Did you get sent to school to learn how to do a manicure/massage or any other pleasure skills?
A: no. i have skills, but they are self taught.
Q: Do you and/or are you allowed to go clubbing/nightlife, out on your own, girl’s night out, etc.?
A: yes, i am allowed to go out on my own. i ask for permission when it is something BDSM related.
Q: Think of a scene you grew from experiencing.
Describe that session, please?
A: i personally get something and grow from every session i experience.
Q:Is getting permanent body jewelry an idea you entertain? or is it something your Master wishes? is that something you would do if He told you to or do you both need to want it?
A: yes, i have had my nipples pierced in that past before i met Master. It was years ago and they have since migrated and i had to take them out.
Master has mentioned maybe having my nipples pierced again and possibly my labia and having them locked. i will do this if Master wishes. And tattoos.
Another thing that has come up recently is de-hooding…the surgical removal of the hood (foreskin) covering my clitoris. This is something i desire to do with/for Master someday.
Q: i have never had a tattoo or piercing because I have felt my body belongs to Master. None of my Masters have desired it or done it. Your thoughts?
A: true, our bodies belong to our Masters. And whatever He wishes to do with His property is up to Him. If He wants to tattoo or to pierce or not to it is ultimately Masters decision, at least as far as i am concerned. If it is sometime that i desired on my own i would ask His permission first.
Q: i’ve noticed that in posts and e-mails submissive’s capitalize “Master”. your thoughts?
A: i can’t speak for others, but i do it out of respect to all Dominants/Tops/Masters and also out of habit.
Q: and your favorite toy is (only one)?
A: ooh, that’s a tough question there are so many i love. If i have to pick only one, i guess it would have to be the cane. i really love whips especially single-tails, but the cane is so much more intimate and can be just as intense.
Q: favorite toy set up while masturbating?
A: using on myself? the large wooden dildo i brought back from Belize.
Q: what if your Master did not find you attractive or did not want you sexually. Would you be happy serving him as he wished, serving his sadistic needs only?
A: i like to think that if He did not find me attractive that He would never have collared me. But yes i would be happy, not as happy, but happy none-the-less just to be serving His sadistic needs. Master owns my body to do whatever He wishes…and hopefully in this case, i would also hope that He would allow me other avenues to satisfy my sexual needs.
Q: once one just gives up the mental garbage and simply obeys, it all gets much easier. your thoughts?
A: What mental garbage? That’s malarkey. i just obey, don’t think twice about it.
Q: Eating and your diet is premium. Any special diet for sessions? what vitamins do you take?
A: no special diet, but i try to eat heart healthy. But, i do back slide and eat junk-food more often than i care to admit. i do not take any vitamins currently, although i probably should.
Q: What are the qualities regarding yourself that you feel are the most important?
A: loyalty, honesty, capable, adaptable, confidence, humble, reverent.
Thank you so much, frye, it has been an exceptional treat to talk with you.